If you said no, you're probably a liar. Go to the corner and think about what you've done.
Customers are constantly getting into it with each other. But like most mothers say, it's how you handle that frustration and anger that makes all the difference.
I say that you do something about it.*
- Standing in line and someone won't get off their phone? Do like a customer that is still near and dear to my heart, even though I have no idea who they are. Scream "heelllllllllooooo" at them in order to get their attention and gesture wildly at how rude they're being by not finishing their order. I'm not allowed to, even though I've wanted to.
- Someone cut in front of you in the line? Punch that bitch in the face.
- The person ahead of you can't figure out how much she has on her EBT card before she held you up for an hour while they rang up $300 worth of groceries? Also punch that bitch in the face. Then make her eat everything she grabbed. It's like smoking; you gotta catch this kind of behavior early.
- You see someone stealing? Don't tell the staff. We can do almost absolutely nothing about it unless we follow very specific rules. Which means we typically can do nothing about it. Call them on it. Throw their stuff on the ground and stomp it until the stolen merchandise is retrieved.
- Someone getting too close to your buggy to look at your baby? Tell them off. I see some people get creepy close and even I want to say something. Too bad I can't unless I see them actually taking your kid.
In the end, it's just one more way a faceless customer is just a little bit more interesting.
*Disclaimer: For legal reasons, I'm supposed to mention that you really shouldn't do anything I suggest beyond this point. Besides, if you end up in court for assault, "the internet made me do it" probably won't buy you any brownie points.
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