Oh Abby!

Recently, a Dear Abby letter caught my attention:

DEAR ABBY: I am writing to protest something that has made shopping increasingly frustrating. I'm referring to rude people who cut in ahead of customers who have been standing in line when the clerk calls out, "Next, please."

I place the responsibility solely on store management to ensure that lines move smoothly and fairly. Stores that have such arrangements are more likely to get my business. Management must empower clerks to insist on fairness in this regard. I have seen too many weak salespeople accept whoever rushes forward first.

I'm sure that many other readers have experienced the same frustration I have. If you print this, I promise I will copy it and send it to the store management where I've had these experiences. Abby, this would be a great service to shoppers and would make shopping much more pleasant for everyone. -- AVERAGE SHOPPER, OAKLAND, CALIF.

DEAR AVERAGE SHOPPER: Unfortunately, most cashiers are usually so preoccupied with ringing up or scanning and bagging the purchases that they can't concern themselves with the occasional line-jumper. Therefore, it's up to you to assert yourself by saying firmly, "Excuse me, but I was next in line" when someone steps in front of you.

I admit it, I'm addicted to her column.

   Oh, Abby!  If only that were the case!  Often times, cashiers not only notice line jumpers, but we DO concern ourselves with them.  Allow me set the record straight as it is according to the company I work for.

Our store encourages the cashiers to take the person from the back of the line, rather than the front.  For example, if the open register is backed up and I open a new one, I absolutely have to take the person at the end of that line, or as close to it as possible.  Sometimes, people are kind, and will allow the person that was already ahead of them to move over.  Actually, I take that back.  Most of the time, people are kind that way.  But we, as cashiers, are not allowed to "concern ourselves" with the jumpers.  If someone gets angry and makes a scene in the store, the only result is that everyone else feels awkward.

Oh look, they cited it for me!

This policy is in place because, oftentimes, the next person in line has already started or completed the unloading of their groceries.  It's also in place because moving a person out of one line and into the next one when the cash registers are turned the same way and against one another can be difficult and unwieldy work. It's just easier to move the last person in line rather than try to rearrange everyone in the line at the same time. 

Yeah, you tell her to put all that back in her buggy and move.

If someone does jump, we can say nothing about it.  We are gagged by the store's policies.

And another thing:  The reason cashiers say, "Next, please!" is because we KNOW people jump the lines.  If I was to point at someone and say, "Please step over to the next line so I can take care of you," someone will have inevitably beaten them to the line and cause even more frustration to the customer that has just given up their place in line to move.  Once again, when this happens, we aren't allowed to ask people to move away.  We avoid this by simply saying that we can take the next person.  This forces customers to make the choice about who is next, because we get sick of dealing with people who are angry about waiting and blaming us for it.

Come on, Abby and Average Shopper.  Cashiers are not out to get you, we are not out to ignore your wants and needs as a customer, and we are not simply "weak" about saying something to the rude person who cut you off in line.  We try to get everyone out of the store as quickly as possible so that we can help each person in a timely manner, but we would lose our jobs if we did more than simply notice the wrongdoings of the customers.  We are concerning ourselves with the problem, we are bothered by it, we are just unable to do anything about it.

On the other hand, thanks for telling the customer to take the problem into her own hands.  We always feel a slight thrill of victory when this happens, as if the customer standing up for his or her right to be there is a way to get back at the rudeness we see all the time.


Find the full 6/20/2012 letter here.

My "Pepper Allergy"

I'd like to share one of my personal victories that I've had since being behind the customer service counter.  First of all, I'd like to state that my customer service is typically pretty good, even on a bad day.  I only turn into a brunette version of the Vancome Lady (played by a wonderfully talented Nicole Sullivan) when I'm hungry.  Or sleepy.  Or annoyed.  Or whatever.

Go ahead, look her up - I'll wait.

I put up with a lot of shit.  When people are sent to me, they're typically already angry and I'm just cleaning up the mess.

On this particular day, I started out in a pretty good mood.  Of course, this means that I'm going to get the biggest assholes.

A man walked into the store with his maybe 12-year-old kid.  I don't know if this man had issues with himself, or just wanted to be a dick in front of his kid.  Either way, he walks in unwrapping something in a produce bag.

These are badass dads.  Picking on a girl at a customer service counter does not make you one of them.

Once he got close enough to me, he unwrapped it fully and plopped the gooey mess in my hand.  It was a rotten, cut open pepper.  He just dropped the whole sticky disgusting mess right in my hand.  The smell itself was enough to burn the inside of my nose.  Peppers as a whole, even un-rotten ones, disgust me: the smell, the taste, even the texture.  Because of this, I immediately just dropped the pepper on the counter and dove for my Sani-hands wipes.

This, but more open and more slime.

While scrubbing my hands, I realized I was scrubbing so hard that they were turning red.  I got an evil plan.

I stood back up and showed the customer my hands.  I said, "You'll have to excuse me, I have a slight allergy."

He started stammering apologies while I processed his refund, and even made a point to apologize again before he left the store.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Act like a douche, prepare to feel like a bitch.